from the ashes

Cinderpaw hung back, trying to distance herself from the rest of her Clanmates. She was somewhat distant by nature, weighed by the burden of secrecy, but still tended to socialize within ThunderClan - she just couldn't bring herself to act like everything was normal anymore. The sudden shift of balance, in the world and in her life, left her burdened by a grief she hadn't had to carry before; the memory of what was lost haunting her with every day and night away from the forest.

She had fought so hard to make her place there, in that land that was only half her own, and all that remained were those that surrounded her and the place they'd left behind, a forest filled with ashes and embers. She was haunted now by her own name, as if the nightmares weren't enough.

There was one other memory of what was lost that she kept with her - a stone, black and yellow and not particularly smooth, but easy enough to roll under her paws. It was difficult to carry and keep safe, particularly without burdening anyone else, but she had determined it was too precious to lose.

Petalkit often stayed close to Duskwolf, mostly because he insisted. Which she obviously didn't appreciate. She was with so many other cats, most of them not even from her clan. She wanted to talk to them all, especially since they seemed so nice! Heck, she barely even talked with her own clanmates! How was she going to find friends, or a future lover even, if she didn't talk to anybody! She could always sneak away, but Duskwolf would probably go into a panic over her. So what could Petalkit do.....

Out of the corner Petalkit's eye, she noticed a cat. The cat was rather close by, as Petalkit wasn't in fact the fastest walker, and Duskwolf would always try to stay in stride with her, so if Petalkit started talking to the cat, she wouldn't to go very far. And then Duskwolf wouldn't put himself into a frenzy! That's a perfect plan! Petalkit thought to herself. A smile appeared onto her face, as she scooted herself closer to the cat. "Hiya! I'm Petalkit, what's your name?" Petalkit mewed, her eyes wide, and her face friendly.

Weighed as she was by grief and sadness, even on her darkest days Cinderpaw couldn't quite bring herself to snap at a kit. This one wasn't familiar to her - under the mix of scents that covered them all by now, one was a little stronger than the others. RiverClan, then.

"Petalkit. That's a nice name," she said quietly. It was soft-sounding, and quite pretty. "My name is Cinderpaw."

Cinderpaw wasn't a particularly pretty name. But it was hers, a gift from parents that loved her (a legacy that was hers to continue), and she wore it with pride.

"...Are you okay walking?"

It wasn't that she was bad with kits, exactly. But she didn't have much experience with them, outside of having been one some time ago. Then again, she hadn't had to travel like this at the time, so even if she did remember she supposed it wouldn't be of much use.

"Hiya Cinderpaw!" Petalkit said, rolling over the name. It was a nice name. She didn't know what cinders were, but they sounded pretty. She wondered if cinders were a type of flower. If they were, she hoped they were pretty flowers.

"Hm, walking? Oh yeah, I've been doing good! And if I ever fall behind or get tired, Duskwolf can just pick me up, and carry me for a good chunk, until I'm able to walk again!" Her smile widened, as she stared up at Cinderpaw. Cinderpaw didn't look happy. Petalkit wondered why. She was sure it wasn't her fault, so why was Cinderpaw sad? Maybe she should ask! "Also, Cinderpaw, why do you look sad?"

"Right..." Cinderpaw nodded. Warriors carrying kits, that made far more sense now that she thought about it. Then the kit asked an innocent question, one anyone might have, and for a moment she froze. "I..."

I don't know how to be happy.

She couldn't tell the truth, not in any way that mattered. Even aside from the secrets she was keeping, she refused to be the one to take a kit's innocent worldview and toss it aside.

"...I miss the home we've left behind," she said instead. That, at least, was true. "That's all."

"Oh you do?" Petalkit noted silently, before looking down at her paws. "I don't remember Riverclan's camp all that well, or even saw the territory! My momma said it looked super pretty in Green-leaf." Petalkit then glanced back up towards Cinderpaw, her smile turning big and wide. "But Duskwolf did say that our new home could look just as pretty! He also says that home is where the cats are! I don't how homes are made by cats, but it sounds cool!"